Every pup is different. It's not a simple platitude in this case. It's a maxim. A rule, for myself, as a trainer to follow. I approach each pup as an individual case, and although I try to stay on a standardised path to training, for me it's not a rigid code but a guide. The urge to be a pup is going to express itself or not in a guy, and my role above all is to help that happen, not stifle or hinder it with my own projected desire. My pleasure, my fun, is important too. But not at the expense of the training. Sometimes a beginning pup doesn't understand this, mostly from anxiousness. We will come back to anxiety in a minute because it's very important.
So, with this serious outlook to training, I don't approach a new pup as an opportunity for me to have fun. I examine a pup and determine whether I am the trainer for them. I tend to be a complex and engaging trainer, and I am not for every pup that's for sure. Some guys are yearning to be trampled and abused. Move on. I am not for you. There is sure to be a master out there who wants a submissive he can denigrate. I respect you both, but my path is counter to that. Pup's I train are taught to love and bond with the pack and me. Don't get me wrong, almost any form of BDSM play is fine, but at the core there has to be a positive growth of the "pup self", and in harmony with a guy's humanity.
If a man is having trouble engaging with humanity, then for me, he is likely to be trouble as a pup. Your outlook as a person should be positive, your emotional life stable, your mindset a healthy norm, to get the maximum out of puphood. Being a pup is a release and an escape from life's stresses, but don't think for a moment you can bring the baggage to pup training and expect me to carry it for you. It is that simple.
We all can confuse anxiety and stress with genuine emotional or mental problems. Everyone can be overwhelmed by what life throws at us. I am a buddhist - we believe that to live is to suffer. The buddhist response is compassion. Here's me throwing ya a hug and telling you the truth - it won't necessarily get better, but don't suffer alone. Let people love and support you.
Step back for a moment mate and approach pup play without a throbbing erection and driving desire, and think - you are going to be collared, hooded, and a plug shoved up your bum by someone you don't know awfully well. It's natural and sensible to be nervous. But if you spend a bit of every day angry or scared, or at least often feel anxious during the week, and you aren't a lion tamer or surgeon, then it might be anxiety has got the better of you.
How do you know if you are emotionally healthy enough to be a pup? There is a simple test. How did you deal with issues, you know, the stressful events that occur in life, over the past month? If you were mostly rational and calm, then you're probably ready. If you're weren't, then we need to talk before any pup experience begins. We can see how you're doing and resolve some issues, drop some baggage off, and get you looking forward to puphood, not running to an escape. If this whole post seems strange to you, like you can't imagine the need to cling to another because you feel unloved, or you can't imagine wanting to simply be abused and used as a master wishes and "please just tell me what to do Sir!" then you are in a healthy place. Here's me welcoming you. Hugs :)