I would have liked to start this post with the declaration
no one likes a miserable pupbut unfortunately that isn't true. There are Owners out there who prey upon, in fact enjoy, the misery of their pup. Taking the power role to a submissive victim in their pup, these people use the position of Trainer to exploit others and abuse them, doing harm in the process. If your Trainer is telling you that you are "worthless" and "it's all your fault you are being punished" there's a good chance you are going to be damaged emotionally under their "guidance". In case no one has told you, before you enter into any bdsm activity where you will be at the mercy of another, you should gain assurance that the people you are with have your health and safety foremost in their mind and that they seek to engage in the scene for mutual pleasure. Of course not every sado-masochistic scene is psychologically damaging. However, don't ever engage in pup play that is going to hurt you emotionally. It is that simple.
It isn't just the Owner and Trainer that has to have a healthy sane mind. A pup needs to be emotionally stable too. That is not always easy. Some pups have very stressful lives, and it can be very difficult to just get through the day. Presented below is a way to deal with that stress and anxiety for pups and Trainers. It won't fix the problems or resolve any underlying issues. You can see a therapist for that. However, it will help establish a positive feedback loop between Owner Trainer and pup, and by following the simple practice explained a pup can face every problem with greater personal strength and a sense of support. Getting through a difficult day will be easier.
Although you see yourself as a up, and training is meant to help you do so, you are always going to have a human brain. That human mind tends to focus on what's wrong or threatening in life. It's not necessarily a pessimistic view, because having your brain predisposed to problem solving and self preservation can be a very good thing. Most of our lives are not spent in a survival maze however, so we need to take active steps to counteract this direction of thinking. Human society creates lots of systems to do just that, but as a pup you can feel remarkably alone at times. There is a tool that is within your reach that is totally within your control to use. It is the positive feedback loop you form with your Owner and Trainer. By being loving and caring to each other you set up a mutually supportive framework to engage in pup training, and you know you are there for each other even out of the hood and collar.
You start the positive feedback by expressing gratitude. Being thankful for what you have. Noticing and actively appreciating what's right for you helps counteract the minds negative tendency and will make you feel better. As a pup you build up the positive rapport, the sharing of mutual good feelings, with your Owner and Trainer by sharing with them regularly what you are grateful for. The negative thoughts and feelings that occur from your stressful days need to be counteracted by positive emotions, and writing to your Owner and Trainer about good things you appreciate improves both your moods, increases optimism, and can even benefit your health.
Naturally a miserable pup feels he has little to be grateful for and a lot to be depressed or angry about. That way of looking at things is not wholly rational, as your mind is clouded by doom and gloom. When feeling anxious or negative, try approaching it this way. Ask yourself - do you want to be a miserable pup?
If you answered yes, then you know for sure that you are not rational right now and you definitely need to lessen the negativity. If you don't want to be a miserable pup, you start using positive feedback to change what is happening to you. Grab a pen or keyboard and start writing to your Owner and Trainer what you are grateful for. Take some time to ponder the positive events and people in your life. There is no magical definitive list of things to write about. Every pup has their own things to appreciate. Yet, we are not usually taught to be grateful and expressive and thanks so here are some common things a pup can start with to take note off and tell his master about.
Kindness - think of the people who have extended kindness to you
Learning - think of the things you have learnt, especially in pup training.
Home - think of the feelings of home and security in your acceptance into the pack
Pleasure - can you touch yourself or another? Can you hear music you like? Can you look at interesting things? Your senses can be your friend here to help you appreciate life.
By no means are these the only things to feel grateful for. You can find others, and write to your Owner and Trainer about them daily, especially when you are down. No one likes a miserable pup, and you shouldn't let yourself dwell in misery.