The Sirius Pup Guide to Intimate Relationships in a Pack - 3
Rational all the time
The word 'rational' conjures in our mind the idea of being sensible, of making sense to others, of having clearly understandable actions that come from predictable sane thinking. The opposite, 'irrational', denotes being crazy, of not being sensible, of not being reason-able, of not being in control of oneself.
Whether we are in pup play or not, we are rational beings as Sirius pups. That simply means we are always best governed by our reason. It was explained here earlier. It is important to understand we are not talking about being emotionless robots. Rather we are describing ourselves in our pack as beings who, whether we are in pup play or not, are at our best in equilibrium with all our internal emotional elements. We try not to let ourselves be overwhelmed with feelings that are going to upset our internal apple carts and cause us to lose our reasoning and thus make bad decisions. Outsiders may expect us to behave irrationally in human pup play. We don't. We engage in pup play, we engage in intimacy, we engage with each other as often as we can with rational sense. We enjoy feelings and we share passions, but we keep them in perspective and in balance in our life as best we can.
Our pack teaches us social responsiblity
As a pack we interact with each other in a moral and ethical way, and part of our understanding of what is right and wrong comes from simply being in a group. If we existed solely alone we would tend to think we are always right because we have no one else to measure ourselves against. As human selves and pup selves we do have others to measure ourselves by in our pack, and it helps us understand that our behaviour - our actions - are very important.
So as human pups in a pack we come to face the reality that we are social beings who have to respect each other, to take each other seriously and think of our pack members as important and what we all want as important. This is what we consider being a rational human pup. We recognise that feelings, even the negative ones, are part of us but they are not in charge of us - our reason is. We are social and come to respect each other in our pack for their own goals and purposes rather than treating each other as unimportant objects or less than anyone else.
Of course, it isn't always perfect. We fail, we make bad shots, as explained earlier. Those failings are included in who we are, acknowledged so we can learn from the bad shots. For example, we know that when one of us is fatigued that pup can be grumpy and intolerant. So we accept that is part of that pups way of being, and that pup is working on doing better.
Being rational means acting from your reason, having a clear understanding of your feelings and where they emerge from, and allowing your thoughts to have sense above whatever you feel. Rationality guides you to find a harmonious balance within yourself, so you can think and feel clearly and express yourself well. So we do our best to avoid pup players who are emotionally disturbed and not able to find equilibrium and balance in themselves right now. Our pack does this because emotionally troubled people will not be able to engage with us in reason. When they are healthier, we hope to interact more fully.
We do our best to avoid people who act in bad faith, who lie and present themselves falsely to get what they want at our expense. Our pack does this because people who are taking advantage of our good will are a terrible drain on our resources, whether it be time, money, or care. If they will not follow our basic rules on communication and honesty as explained in First Collar Training Communication, then they are not welcome around our pack.
We don't determine how we behave towards each other in our pack, intimately or not, by the negative possibilities. Deception or emotional ill health are not the guide posts for how we determine why we strive to be good to each other. This is:
We all possess reason, and knowing how to behave in human pup play and how to behave with ethics, we have a duty to develop ourselves continuously as educated individuals. The fact we all have reason forges a tie between us all, and that connection imposes a duty on everyone in the pack to treat each other with respect and generosity.
When we recognise and appreciate that duty towards each other whenever we act, we are acting in good will. It is not a magic wand that makes everything good and perfect. We know that it is a constant struggle to improve ourselves and do better towards one another.
Good will is not the power to do the right thing suddenly while still wallowing in habitual malice, envy, self pity or fear. It is the power to change such emotional habits, over time, through attending to ourselves and imagining ourselves into better. When we work and improve ourselves to be good, doing the right thing comes more naturally.
To be better we need to pay attention to ourselves, to how we behave and why we behave that way, and to work towards converting the negative feelings and habits we have into positive ones. When we do that, we are better capable of showing love for everyone in our pack...... Part 4: Love is